He's quiet for a moment. It's all true that it shouldn't matter, that the present matters. There's nothing he can change. It can't be better or worse, it just is. But this has been rolling around in his brain and driving him up the wall ever since Wash said those words.

"The only reason I'm not like him now is because everything that made me that way got ripped out of me. Makes me a different person, but a damaged one. Incomplete. If I wasn't fucked up, I'd be him, wouldn't I."