ghostthatlingers | Sanctum IC Contact

[That's something to say to make him feel better. He doesn't know whether to believe it or not...but Tex usually doesn't make an effort to spare his feelings.

No, that's a lie. She spent that whole time he was a sim soldier lying to him to spare him.]

So you were just taking him for a spin.

[She shrugs.]

Yeah. He started flirting with me and we went out to eat a few times. [And it all escalated from there.] He stuck around when Omega was cloned and I needed someone. It was after that it ended.

Wait. Wait, this started even before Omega? Are you fucking kidding me?

Not that long before. [She shakes her head.] Does it really matter when it began? It's been over for a while now.

Look, okay, I would totally understand if you decided he would be better for you than me after that whole...fucked up falling out. I get that. But what the fuck did I ever do to you before then that chased you off to run to someone else? If you wanted a...a break? A break to try things out with other people, people who, y'know, aren't me, who aren't like fucking like halfway programmed to wanting to be with you? Y'know, you could've, I dunno, said something. I know we're shit at talking, but we still communicate...okay...ly. Ish.

It wasn't like I planned this, it just happened and kept going. I know I should have told you or said something about it, but I fucked up and didn't, okay?

[There's a pause here as she takes a deep breath and runs a hand through her hair.] I fucked up and I shouldn't have. Like I said before, if you'd be happier if I went somewhere else, I can pack my bags and you can have the house to yourself.

...Okay.

[It's actually nice that she just says she fucked up. That none of it was planned, calculated. It just happened, and it happened, and she fucked it up. That's better, in a lot of ways.

And then there's that little tiny impulse that says house hunting.]

Okay. So long as it's over...and so long as you, y'know, don't make a fuckin' habit of it. What the hell would I do with a house all to myself? I'd just get a little apartment instead.

[That's all? She stares at him a moment, searching his expression for any hint that he means something other than what he's saying. She's supposed to be making him happy and then this came out.

But as quickly as it came up, it's over? She's not sure she can believe that.]

Is it that simple?

Do you want me to kick you out? I don't wanna kick you out. [He rubs at his eyes as an excuse not to look at her, ostensibly to rub at the pressure nagging at him.] Look, in my head, we've kinda done this before. Like, on either side here.

I'm not like excusing it here, but if it's done...then okay. It's done. I dunno how I feel about it, but it's done. Maybe just let me know the next time you need someone else to make you feel special?

[That's not reassuring, but she doesn't deserve that right now. There's hesitation in her movement as she steps closer. He might not be kicking her out, but does he even want her near him?]

That's not... You know I love you, right?

You make it pretty damn hard to tell sometimes. But I know it.

[She'll make it up to him. Somehow. She hopes. There's a small sigh before she decides it's time to change the subject.]

I was out shopping because we're out of some things, but I'll make dinner with whatever we have around.

...Okay.

[He turns to go--somewhere, he's not sure yet. Maybe go back to base and do some training? Hang out with Liz, maybe? But he stops himself.]

Look, maybe I asked this before, and maybe we'll never really be sure, but like, you coming back to me, again and again, is that because you really want to, or is that because something in your head like tells you to?

[Of course that couldn't be it. He had to ask that and she doesn't turn to look at him, knowing that there is still some uncertainty surrounding that.

All she knows is that she does come back and that she loves him. There has to be more to that than programming.]

If that was all that was there between us, I would have ignored that voice a long time ago.

...'Kay. Good to hear. That's all I want to know.

I'm, uh. I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back! I'm not, like, pitching a fit and going out doing dumb shit and moving out or something. I'm just--I'm.

I'll be back later.

Make sure you do. [Something that she isn't used to having to say. And she's about to let him go until a question that won't quit hounding her slips out.]

Why do you keep taking me back?

[It's...a fair question, actually, after what he asked her, but he still turns and gives her a bewildered look.]

...Is it cheating to say because I love you?

[Poor word choice and her gaze flickers away for a second.]

Yeah, a little. I'll save you some leftovers.

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